Friday, November 13, 2009
November* a month of thanks* him
We've had a total of three planned camping trips rained out this Fall. That's right three. It's killing me...I am longing for the woods but it has been one rainy October. Josh had a two day break from school a few weeks ago and since we couldn't camp because of rain we tried to make the most of the time together anyway. We decided to go see our first family movie together. It was a dreary day so I brought Naya's blanket and thought maybe she would just go to sleep since it was her nap time. We went to see UP. It started out with a musical montage following these two little pixar characters that were childhood sweethearts, big dreamers and eventually man and wife. It showed their love for one another and the disappointments they face in a fast moving time line of their life. Since when did kids movies become so sad? I was crying in the first five minutes.I suppose this whole thing would make more sense if you saw the movie. Anyway, it ended up being a really fun, cute movie and a lovely way to spend a grey rainy day. Naya snuggled in my lap the whole time, all of their eyes wide with wonder at the massive screen. The couple in the story were childless adventurers, with dreams of exploring wild terrain and far off places. Real life always seemed to get in the way, always having to take a hammer to the change jar of savings. After the wife dies and the husband is old he finally embarks on his adventure but the gist of the whole story is that it is not about the big and glamorous. The adventure is those simple treasured moments of life, the hand of your love while you read your favorite novel, the soft familiar voice,working and playing and living together. What can I say, it was a kids movie but something in it struck a chord with me.
The other day I came across a daily planner of mine from several years ago(I still have this and I wonder why I seem to collect clutter). I thumbed through it; Dr's appointment here, work schedule there,etc. I couldn't help laughing a little to myself when I saw scattered through the weeks, what I must have written in a moment of playful frustration. In frilly cursive letters written over all the other obligations, Josh and Linda go England, Josh and Linda go to Prague, Josh and Linda go back to 'Jamaican me crazy'(Josh wore a T-shirt that said this on our honeymoon),Josh and Linda go to Hawaii, Josh and Linda go to the holy lands etc, etc. you get the picture. Then I laughed some more when I saw that at some point, Josh and high-jacked it and added his own absurdities.Josh and Linda are taken by hostile unicorns and go gambling at Harrah's.
It made me smile to see Josh hearts Linda forever at the end. I think that may have been a slightly long-winded way of saying I am so immensely thankful for my husband. He's been my companion for the last ten years on our own adventure story. We have seen some dreams come to pass and we've taken a hammer to the savings jar for lots of others. I can't echo enough that it is not about the big or glamorous, our list of accomplishments, successes or lack there of. It is about the steady, quiet, gentle building of a home, a family of broken people learning to work and play and love together. It's about helping equipt compassionate kingdom builders. Our love is tainted and tattered and we've patched it and sewn it back together and ultimately relied on our faithful God to carefully weave his grace through every thread to create a tapestry of oneness. The truth is sometimes we behave dreadfully and and come back again and again to His fountain of mercy. Is that not what is so healing about marriage though? That there is this person who sees you at your brightest and best and also at your worst and they choose to love.
Okay, so this whole thankfulness thing, there is power in it. The Spirit uses it to transform my complaining and fear. Like a strong exhale or a mighty wind it blows, and Satan shudders with dismay. It is hard to wallow in hardships when blessing abound crying out for attention. Here are some things I love that make me thankful... I love that he would much rather snuggle on the couch than have a clean house, I love the adorably awful accents he puts on when reading The Lion,the Witch and the Wardrobe to Juden, I love how he always makes me laugh, I love how he is a thoughtful,helpful partner, I love that he brought me flowers when I was sad, I love this picture cause it is crazy beautiful
I love how he does things with drive and passion, I love the kind of dad he is, and the kind of worker, I love that he comforts me, I love making babies and art and music together. I love that God loved me enough to give me him.