Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Miracle shall follow miracle, and wonders shall never cease.
~ Florence Scovel Shinn~


There is so much to celebrate. We enjoyed the day with family and more family on their way, food and gifts given with so much love. At least for a little while, all was calm and bright. Hoping your Christmas and New Year is filled with moments of  peace and joy.

Saturday, December 22, 2012


"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance.To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never , never to forget."
~Arundhati Roy~

It's been a strange week after the events in Newtown last week... I had no words. Still don't really. Only silence, and prayers, and weeping felt appropriate. Horrific headlines are nothing new in this old sin-sick world sadly. But something about finding out  while I wrapped presents, while two of my babies were at school, my husband a hit me hard. I wept for those precious lives taken that day. I watched Juden and Ella run through the yard home from school. I think their smiles were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I hugged their small frames, drank in their chatter and laughter, the normalness of it, shoes and backpacks thrown on the floor. My heart broke for so many parents whose evening would be a living nightmare, whose lives would never be the same.
This is the season of advent, of waiting, worshiping, pruning this ragged heart of mine, anticipating my manger-born King's return. But for now, we are faced with so much tragedy, madness, bloodshed, and resounding evil, in Newtown and around the globe every day. It is in the headlines and in my heart too. Creation groans. My rage against evil is heightened as is my longing and awe for  Jesus whose light shines brighter against the darkness.
"that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together as in the pains of childbirth until now.And not only the creation but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." ~Romans 8:21-25

As I stood in church last Sunday I could barely get these words out,

"Come thou long expected Jesus, 
Born to set thy people free;
 from our fears and sins release us, 
let us find our rest in thee. 
Israel's strength and consolation, 
hope of all the earth thou art; 
dear desire of every nation, 
joy of every longing heart. 
Born thy people to deliver, 
born a child and yet a King, 
born to reign in us forever, 
now thy gracious kingdom bring. 
By thine own eternal spirit rule in all our hearts alone; 
by thine all sufficient merit, 
raise us to thy glorious throne." 

Our long expected Lord; he reigns, he redeems. His heart broke over death and evil.  He was no stranger to the ugly and profane. I think of how the God of all creation wrapped himself in human flesh and came to the womb of a young peasant girl. All because he would not leave us in our sin. He was willing to suffer every pain and rejection. There was nothing hallmark about his birth, no cozy glowing stable. Jesus came surrounding the massacre of all the male babies in the vicinity of Bethlehem.  His life ushered in with bloodshed and evil.  All I can think of is Joseph, this weary traveler, anxious that he could provide no safe, clean place for his young bride to give birth. Did they wonder what God was doing when door after door closed to them? And then Mary who without hesitation responded, "May it be done to me according to your word." She gave her body and her heart for the glory of God.  So trusting and so vulnerable, in pain giving birth to our Savior, on the ground in a stable on some starry night amongst the stench of animals. This is how the king of glory came to us, so humble and yet the heavens, triumphant, rejoiced and still we rejoice for the one who will make all things new.  

When my heart groans with the weight of things I can't even comprehend, I am reminded that even in the darkest places the light of Christ shines. People rise up to action, to compassion, to help. The light of kindness and love shatters through what threatens to drown us. 

Lately, I am craving those moments of calm,  and stillness that come like a breeze. The way her voice sounds singing Away in a Manger, the perfect blue sky, the way they look when they're asleep, the way the afternoon sun slants across the wall, the feel of soft cheeks on my neck. Soaking up the beauty,  mourning with those who mourn, and praying against the darkness. 
Drinking it all in and knowing that Jesus, 

He's coming again.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Morning bird watching

                                         My two littlest ones have this habit that I really adore. Every once in a while after the flurry of getting the big kids out the door to school in the morning, I sit and have tea and read for bit and my littles pull their chairs up to the window and watch the birds pointing and chatting. "Look  Harper, there's a cardinal!" she says. I love how kids are never really in a hurry, they notice so much. In the everyday of full to do lists, it's little moments of quiet with sleepy faces and morning light, that I treasure.

Thursday, December 13, 2012


A few weeks ago...

                                                                        and now.

                                                I watched this tree go from glory to bare as these days tumble forward to Christmas. Winter is here.

Monday, December 03, 2012

*december, how I love thee*

"Whatever may be the tensions and stresses of a particular day, there is always lurking close at hand the trailing beauty of forgotten joy or unremembered peace." ~ Howard Thurman

  I love this Nikki McClure calender and how it always feels so familiar, looks like my three loves around our fire pit.


 December is off to a mild start, all breezy and Spring-like. I still feel like a kid getting lights and ornaments out. This weekend included a children's concert where I watched my wild boy and thought how much he is like his daddy, watched my man play a show with friends in an old auto body shop while the sky turned pink behind us,  and a Main Street parade. I am feeling the love for this town and community. Lots of hard play was followed by a lazy Sunday. With baby and husband napping peacefully, I snuck outside with some chai only to be followed soon by these crazies:) They are a force to be reckoned with, love them so.

Friday, November 30, 2012

this moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual.
A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.
A simple, special, extraordinary moment.
A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
Inspired by SouleMama 

Wednesday, November 21, 2012



     Today like many days,  I folded endless piles of small clothing. I scrubbed dried baby food off of my wood floors. I ran errands. I made meals and washed dishes, wiped faces, and  listened to arguing kids.  I cuddled and sang and read. I pushed my baby on the swing in the sunshine and felt tired. I bathed children and held little toweled bodies. At the days end I finally laid down for a moment on my couch with a mild sense of discouragement for all of the things I didn't finish, frustrated with my own inadequacy. Then I watched my children who were all piled on our big chair writing in their thankfulness journals; notebooks I had given them last year to write, or in Naya's case draw, all of the things they are thankful for.

Here is what Juden read to us tonight:

" I am thankful for my family, my friends and my cousins. I am thankful for what I have. I am thankful for art. I am thankful for books. I am thankful for my fuzzy blanket! I am thankful for monkeys, snakes, bears and birds! I am thankful for God! I am thankful for National Geographic. I am thankful for Harper and fairy tales, and LOVE. And I am thankful for heaven. I am thankful for science.I am thankful for my teacher. I am thankful for yummy dinners on Thanksgiving nights. I am thankful for acorns. I am thankful for snowmen and Christmas trees. I am thankful that God saved me."
~Juden age 8~

As I watched my sweet husband and children and listened, my soul overflowed with one thought. Is there really anything else to say?  Thank you for this imperfect, perfectly beautiful life...thank you.

Friday, November 16, 2012

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual.
A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.
A simple, special, extraordinary moment.
A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
Inspired by SouleMama 

Thursday, November 15, 2012

little artist

I may have  an Andy Goldsworthy in the making... 

"At its most successful, my ‘touch’ looks into the heart of nature; most days I don’t even get close. These things are all part of the transient process that I cannot understand unless my touch is also transient—only in this way can the cycle remain unbroken and the process complete. I cannot explain the importance to me of being part of the place, its seasons and changes. Fourteen years ago I made a line of stones in Morecambe Bay. It is still there, buried under the sand, unseen. All my work still exists in some form."~Andy Goldsworthy

It makes my heart glad to see the glory of nature and her play coincide.