Monday, April 28, 2008

Sometimes there are days when being a mom is not all things rosy. There are days when no matter what you do, your kids just aren't happy. There are days when they fight and they go to time out for the same thing three times in a row. There are days when you are trying to teach your child to be patient and kind but you feel like being neither. Some days you're busy all day long but you can't find one thing to show for it, and you wonder why your mind can't stay in one direction for longer than ten seconds. There are days where your heart is heavy about things that you don't have time to let surface. There are days you realize that no matter how much you pour yourself out, you'll never be enough. There are days when you fantasize about having a few minutes to yourself to exercise, or go to the library, or go shopping. There are days when you vaguely remember what naps felt like. There are days when you realize you must be getting old because the stuff you used to blast from the cd player is being replaced with calming voices like Hem and Rosie Thomas because you can't handle the volume after the demands of kids all day long. On those days when the only time you're forced to be still is to nurse the one who doesn't talk or fight yet, you use those moments to cry cause you're worn out and dissappointed in yourself, but oh so thankful for grace and that you're not alone in this parenting thing.

Even on the those harder more exhausting days of parenting I'm reminded that there's no where in the world I'd rather be than with my sweet ones. In the midst of little hands always pawing at me and little voices always needing me, I rest in the joy and the blessing that they are and pray for grace to shepherd their hearts. And when her tiny hands reach up for mine I think on how rich these little people have made me and how thankful I am that one wiser and stronger than I, holds them.