Saturday, August 16, 2008
I can't go to bed without wishing my mama some birthday love today. My days meld together in a blur of cooking, laundry, diapers, breaking up fights, endless hugs and conversations that make my heart melt. Being a mom is such an amazing thing. The continual process of little steps of letting go from the moment they leave the safety of our body. The endless sacrifices, nurture, exhaustion and indescribable joy in the midst of it all. My heart gets heavy at the thought of Juden starting Pre-K and soccer and the growing independence of this little fellow who has spent almost every minute of his life by my side. This thing of motherhood is a strange,scary and beautiful thing, being given these precious and fleeting lives. It has all deepened my appreciation for the one who watched my first breath and has nurtured and given of herself to me for all my 30 years. I'm sure it doesn't seem like that long ago that she had five little people to feed and nurture, and listen to, and worry over, and she did it well.
Tonight I read Ella a book my mom used to read to me and I found myself lost in the whimsical pictures and the sound of my moms' voice. She helped me to love words and reading; she filled our house with music and helped me be passionate about it. She taught me how to treat people and not to be selfish. She seemed to have faith in me when I'd lost it in myself. I just really love her and I hope I can be half the mother she was to me.