Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Right in time for Ella's birthday I saw this lovely idea on Soule Mama of a personal little garden and I knew it would be perfect for Ella. She loves helping me garden and ever since Nana gave her a book called Pinkalicious she has loved all things pink. I planted a few things and got her a new little shovel and left the rest for her to plant Petunias, Impatiens, Verbena and a few others. She loved it and is so proud of her all pink garden.

I should probably just say that this particular weekend I went to Nashville to see Josh play, which was awesome but I was already a tired mama who had been almost at my wits end with a certain two year old who seemed to have a propensity toward pushing just the right buttons to push me to a breaking point. I wanted to handle every situation right but so often didn't. I woke up early after getting in bed at 3 to prepare a secret garden for the birthday girl on a day that was so hot it just wanted to melt your face off even at the crack of dawn. And all the other plants that were so lush were beginning to protest the consecutive days of dryness and heat and look all droopy. Then my over tired,hormonal self got into an argument with Josh that was over something stupid but still left me feeling hurt, misunderstood, defeated and mad at myself. And it was Father's day and all I wanted was to throw my arms around my own dad and smell that sawdust and after-shave smell. I wanted to show him my garden and the little girl that would have had him wrapped around her little finger. I missed him. But I held it together and tried to make everybody happy and then I went to look at the garden and saw that the biggest and prettiest potted plant had wilted into a pathetic mess and so I pulled it up and slung it into a pot and brought it inside and sat on the kitchen floor and cried and cried over dying flowers but not really about the flowers at all. And then Josh walked in while I was crying over pink flowers and tried to think of every way to help the flowers and was so adorably giving botanical conjectures and his compassion and the tears cleansed me. And the day ended with a happy little girl busy in her secret pink garden.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

to Ella

To my Bella girl who today turns 4:
You are my little shadow. You are somewhat quiet and don't demand a lot of attention but you love to be doing whatever I'm doing. As soon as I start to cook, you pull up a chair, you even like to help me clean. You love to feel like you have a job. You love to play in the dirt and every evening you are by my side to help in the garden, watering, pruning and you've perfected your own technique of finding clover blossoms and dandelions and carefully picking them and replanting them in all mommy's planters. You also love to play mommy to Naya and it melts me to see you pull her onto your lap and read to her since she is about the same size as you. You love to draw and paint and are very meticulous about it. Lately your thing is rabbits. I find them drawn on everything.
You are my most content one,you often quietly rattle off your favorite books to yourself. You've memorized them, even the intonations of my voice. You have some mad rhythm skills and for along time have beat boxed songs instead of singing the words which never ceases to crack up your daddy and me.You are very tender hearted and sensitive. You get hurt feelings easily but you forgive quickly. Lately, you are afraid of the dark so we hung fairy lanterns and butterfly lights in your room but the other night we found you nestled up next to Juden. He is very protective of you. You love music and are super girly. You're all about pink, tutus, dressing up, nail polish, and shoes...Lord have mercy, shoes. You would like to be doctor or a princess when you grow up; either would be fine with me. You are changing everyday and sometimes I wonder where this little bug went...

You like to have your goldeny hair done all different ways and are leaving all your toddlerness behind. Your smile really does light up the room just like your laugh. You are delightful in every sense of the word and I am so thankful for every day I get to me your mama. Happy birthday my big girl.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

blooms and sparklers and summer

I love how summer sometimes feels like one extended weekend. It's official their heads have lifted from the dirt. I watched the seeds form sprouts and then buds and now blooms and it's one of my favorite times of the day walking around inspecting the constant changes. The garden is lush and bursting with color and it's amazing how happy it makes me. But I'll post more about that later. I love the long sunny days and I feel myself letting some things go to drink in summer, for fear if I blink it will be over. Why does it feel like this endless world of possibility when you're little?

These summer days have spawned a very lax bed time which I'm okay with sometimes and sometimes I am definitely not okay with. This night we got all the kids tucked in and decided to sit outside and have some wine and chat while the stars came out. Josh started doing some sparkler tricks which got Juden's attention as he'd been peeking down at us from his bedroom window. Seconds later they were bursting through the screen door. "Their dropping stars on us", Ella said through giggles.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

around the world with meadow

Today my niece Meadow Eve turned 8.

So this beautiful sister set out to make her around-the-world birthday party wishes come true.

They each decorated these suitcases...

and got their passports stamped by this little Dove-bird.

Then off to a golden bamboo forest in China to a table laid with rice cookies, Litchi candies, fans and fortune cookies.

They tried to learn how to use chopsticks...

and had an origami lesson.

They proceeded to Africa and played African drums..

and learned African dance steps.

They traveled to a vineyard in France and had French sparkling lemonade and did their own fashion designs.

They visited South America and a few other countries before ending up back in the USA for some cake in the shape of a globe. It was so lovely to see how with a little attention to detail and a lot of imagination these little girls were taken all over the world without leaving their garden,

a day that Meadow will not soon forget.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

home again

It was so very nice to listen to the sounds of quietness for awhile with the one I love.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

we're off

We are cabin bound for a few days of sleeping in, hiking, biking, reading, eachother and for the first time since we became parents no children!
Note to self:
Don't worry.
You'll miss them more than they miss you.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

up to the sky

Some days he's Sir Jack. The day Uncle Keefers gave him a bow and arrow he was Robin which had certain advantages for me(Maid Marian) who got kisses when he was victorious. This day he was Peter of course saving Naya from pirates. We've jumped head long into summer around here and it feels good.
There is something entirely magical about the way little ones see things and it makes me sad to think of the day when I no longer have all these little people breathing freshness into my days.
After a night of big band music and fireworks for Memorial day, this conversation followed.
Mama- "What do you think that was?"
Juden- " I fink something from the planets spraying some fire that looked like a weeping willow tree."

Mama- "What is joy?"

"It's when you play and you're happy and bells ring inside you up to the sky."