Thursday, February 22, 2007

A good run...










Though it might seem almost sacreligious in light of the marvelous news of our new baby Naya, I (Josh) have big news for my friends and family.

After approximately 8.3 years toiling away with Infradig, I am pulling the plug. Those of you that have witnessed what this band has been to me for the past few years know that I have made huge sacrifices to push forward the dream of my music. To be blunt, it has been my life. Linda, Juden, and Ella have, in some way or another, felt the burden of my vision and calling for years. I want to be as clear as I can be about how profoundly difficult this decision has been. I have prayed over what I should do for months, and I do feel confident that God has lead me to this point of submission.

That being said, I still wonder why in the world God has been directing me in the direction of music for the the past half of my life. It has always seemed overwhelmingly clear to me that I was on the path that he had set for me. In some ways, I now look back at 19 years of work and ask, "What was this for?" In the most obvious ways I am always able to articulate to myself the merit of my efforts (for better or worse, I'm a pretty good rhetoritician) . The correct answers are always the quickest, right?

What I'm getting at, is that when your mission in life is suspended, it tends to leave a void. It is virtually impossible to convey the absurdity of calling to Infradig. Countless nights left wanting within the bunk of our '84 Sunland Express on the outskirts of some city...always hoping and dreaming of the next show or festival and its promise...Intoxicated prophets singing your praises and predicting the next specific steps to your acquisition of greatness. Though the release of such promise and hope is liberating it simulatneously tends to deflate.

We aren't stopping cold...in fact there is much left to be done, some of which I hope you people will be a part of. There is more info on our websites: www.infradig.net, www.myspace.com/infradigmusic.















Tuesday, February 20, 2007

the new one







1Timothy 6:11-"But you, O man of God flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness."
Naya Faith Green showed up on Thursday evening February 15. She was 8 pounds and 1 ounce and 21 and 1/4 inches long. I love all her silkly black hair, my other two were bald. The name Naya has a couple of different meanings , the one that drew us to it is gentleness. We like that it sounds soft and simple but posseses the deep meaning of the fruits of the Spirit. Gentleness and Faith, two things we hope to instill in our daughter.
After finding out she was posterior I spent the week contorting my pregnant body into strange positions, doing lots of pelvic rocking and seeing a chiropractor to try to get her to turn. It resulted in a lot of sleepless nights and by Wednesday night had settled into a constant deep back pain. When I went to my midwife she had shifted a little bit. I had pshyced myself up hoping that the third time around I would be able to do this thing naturally. But first child or third contractions are just as intense and in the throws of transition with Naya trying to turn I got an epidural. It was emotional and dissapointing giving in but ultimately the most important thing isn't how you have her but just that you have this precious gift. I could have kissed the anesthesiologist afterwards. And praise the Lord, Naya turned all the way. I was able to focus now and Josh actually got to deliver her part of the way and place her on my chest. In that moment all noise and activity seemed to become still and quiet and I looked in her tiny eyes and knew my life would never be quite the same.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

ramblings




Here is our future snow-boarding champ. Actually thanks to Mimi and Granddad, Ella just got her new pair of Ponseti foot abduction braces. They maintain the correction of her club foot. She may need them for a couple more years, but she only has to wear them when she sleeps. She handles it really well, especially since now that she runs and climbs. They make her resort to a crawl although she has sure tried walking in them. In other news our family has been in a sickness funk. Josh had a fever for the better part of a week then I got a horrible stomach flu followed by both of the kids. At nine months pregnant it was a pretty rough time. I am so thankful for family and community (and you know who you are) who just stepped up with childcare and all the creature comforts chicken soup, Gatorade, jello, movies. It is so nice to be taken care of without even asking.

I was a little sad when I returned from my appointment with my midwife today because the girl is still in a posterior position which from what I can tell means I could either be in for a very difficult back labor or a c-section. I have been between 4.5 and 5 cm dilated and 80% effaced so I am really praying she turns. If you remember please pray for this, and if any of you mamas have any advice for getting her to turn let me know.

Needless to say between barfing kids and men working in our house and just sheer exhaustion I barely remembered that I turned 29 today. This evening as I sit I am so overwhelmed. As the day went on, cards and flowers and other little tokens poured in making the day very special and encouraging. Josh and I could not really go out as Juden is still recovering but it felt like a little in home date as Susan Green cooked us an exquisite meal and I even had a homemade birthday cake from Jen with candles and all. Thanks to all who poured out love on me, it could not have come at a better time.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

juden blaze is 3!


The name Juden is a variation of Judah which means praise. We chose Blaze because when he was inside of me with hands on my belly I prayed for him. One of the things I prayed the most was that God would enblazen His spirit on Juden's heart and that he would grow into a man of passion for God. So today we praise God for Juden Blaze and the little guy he is becoming. He has Josh's deep brown eyes and my light hair. It is quite amazing to watch this little person who is such a mix of both of us and yet totally his own person. He is affectionate , curious, hilarious and stubborn and everyday a source of great joy.