Monday, May 20, 2013

" I listened, motionless and still;
 And, as I mounted up the hill, 
The music in my heart I bore, 
       Long after it was heard no more."
 ~William Wordsworth

This is where I spent some of last Sunday.  It's a beautiful old historic house that looks more like it should be found on an English countryside than tucked away five minutes from where we live, awaiting demolition. I loved wandering around wondering who had lived here and what stories it held. It was overgrown and gorgeous with a fragrant blanket of lily of the valley, my mom's favorite, covering one side. Naya made sure to gather a bouquet. The boys climbed rocks and explored little caves but the girls were content to walk with me and oblige my desire to try and capture some of the grace of this structure while it is still there. It felt good to be outside with my loves, to lay aside my agenda, my stresses, and distractions and take a moment to really see them. To quiet thoughts of chores undone and arguments and demands and to watch the way the sun fell on their faces, Harper's wild afro, the way she knelt to find wildflowers. 

"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles."
                                                                                                 ~Ann Frank (The Diary of a Young Girl)

The other day I read these lines and it reminded me again of why I love written words. There is something wonderful about feeling a connection that spans history and distance. I can't say I agree with everything she says here but I get what her heart felt.
For as long as I can remember when my soul was disquieted or sad, I would seek out some haven field or mountainside, some stretch of sky I could throw my arms around, somewhere to talk to Jesus, somewhere to sense  my own insignificance. Somewhere to feel small. I always found comfort being reminded of the vast incomprehensible nature of God, and my smallness in the shadow of His wings.

 This is the house. I wouldn't mind living here. A lovely place to spend mother's day with all my loves. They know me well. Hand-made cards and gathered flowers, picture taking, lunch outside, made my heart happy.