Monday, February 23, 2009
I had a birthday a little bit ago and for several days surrounding it we had some freakishly warm weather. The warm breath of Spring had the kids running around the yard barefoot and made me want to pull all the sun dresses and yellow from the wardrobes. It was just that warm right after being icy cold. That would have been enough to make me happy but on top of that Ella pushed open my door as I stood there in a towel with my hair wrapped up and said," Oh mommy, you are as cute as a bug." She also embarked on her first shop lifting venture, all in my name. We returned from a birthday breakfast at Cracker Barrel where Ella proudly presented from thieving little hands one tiny white plastic dish scrubber. Though I wasn't proud of my little robber, I could not help but smile at the innocence and sweet intentions behind the act. Oh, the hard lessons of life. Juden also told Josh that he wanted to give me a present, and when Josh said he could make something, he said he could buy me something with all of his birthday dollars. It's good to be loved.
Josh took me on a date which was perfect, art gallery, yummy Italian food, used book store and then to see Slumdog Millionaire. I don't want to spoil it, but I will say it was lovely. It moved me with compassion although I couldn't watch every scene as I don't do well with violence toward women or children. I loved the colors and the music and it prompted the subsequent purchase of this yellow scarf. It makes me feel like I have a little piece of sunshine even on the coldest day.
The cold has since returned and I love the way the veins of the trees stretch out through the wintry skies and the fireplace in my living room which lures me to sink a little longer reading The Pearl. But really that little taste of early Spring and the first blooms have left me with an appetite for less clothes and longer days. It seems like we've just passed around so many colds and after having laryngitis which left me whispering for days, I'm just getting a little impatient with winter. It turns out my voice really comes in handy especially with a house full of little people who must be responded to immediately, and directed and entertained and corrected all day long.I also discovered the phenomenon that when I could do nothing but whisper people instinctively whisper back. Lots of quiet conversations and strange looks...interesting. Even now my voice is so deep and raspy by the evening. And can I just say that I miss singing! I'm done with the 900 # jokes. I just want to sing again. Okay that was a tangent, what I wanted to say is that if you are one of my dear friends that has been afflicted by one cold or virus after another and you are just weary or lonely or discouraged, I feel your pain. This to shall pass. I remind myself that God will carry me through daily trials. How he lavishes us with love and good gifts. Seek those moments of joy and stillness in your day and drink them in. When the sun spills in your windows let it fill your soul. Whether you find some peace and comfort at the end of a pen, stringing words together, in the strokes of a paintbrush, the click of knitting needles, with hands sunk into the earth to garden, or loving the people around you, whatever is your task, do it fully. I want to sing, and create, and learn new crafts and grow things and build things and serve people in need. Now if only I wasn't so tired and free time, what is that? Oh yeah, I have three little kids and sometimes I wish I had five lives to do all the things I feel passionate about. But there will be time for that later. For this season, my task is clear and set before me, to nurture and teach and love the little ones I've been entrusted with. Nothing could be more important than to be a vessel for His love and grace. I find such deep joy in their trusting eyes and open arms. For now I'll enjoy the remnants of winter and savor the hints of new life and green peeking through here and there, while my loves explore the transtion with curious eyes and dimpled fingers. You'll have to excuse my sleepy rambling but my wine glass is empty and my pillow calls.