Summer is for blueberry picking.

We went a little too early this year and so we had to reach and work to get our bucket full of ripe plump berries. Harper also liked to eat every berry we picked of course or feed them to his buddy. I love this tradition, being with friends, seeing where our food comes from, returning home and making a blueberry bramble.  And we can't forget a reading of this old favorite...

letters

 
For my Ella who is now eight;
"Is it gonna storm mama?" You asked with a furrow in your brow. "I don't think so but if it does I will be with you." I said as I stuffed towels and water bottles in the backpack. We piled into the van headed for our favorite swimming hole. We stepped through the mossy forest floor, past fiddle heads and ferns and everything in me calmed with the cool green landscape, trees stretched against sky, just the sound of water over rocks and your chatter and play. We were made for this, to glory in the earth scent and deep blue sky, to feel the warmth  on our freckled summer skin. It is everything summer and carefree, swimming through clear green pools, we built rock towers and collected treasures, layed on our backs and picked m&m's out of the trail mix.





At some point I noticed the dark clouds roll in and your face turn to worry. Storms are a big fear for you. The rain started gently with just a low rumble of thunder in the distance. We grabbed our towels and ran to the shelter of a big rock overhanging. We huddled close and sang and watched the rain. The thunder came and went and when it came close your tears welled up and daddy held you and comforted you. You looked small in his arms. It made me think about someone I listened to recently who spoke about when Jesus was in the boat with his friends. The storm raged and they were gripped with fear. All He did was speak and the waves and winds obeyed and became still. Can you imagine? A raging storm turned to perfect calm in an instant. In life God doesn't always calm the storm. He doesn't always make everything okay despite all the well intentioned platitudes you may hear. But it has to be enough that we are in the boat with Jesus. He never leaves us alone to face our storms. He is with us always, our strength and comfort, our never failing anchor.

The storm passed and the sun returned along with your smile. I will forever treasure this day with you.







I see you sweet daughter, growing thoughtful and wiser as the days pass. There is a lot I understand about you. You are a noticer. You observe with eyes and heart and see things that others miss in your own quiet way. Your current career aspiration is to be an author and illustrator. Although I know that this changes quickly,  it does really capture your eight-year-old self. You love making books. You spend hours carefully telling stories and drawing and you love making them for people. I think I will need a separate chest for the kind letters, cards and books you create that I can't part with. You don't always speak a lot of words but you speak volumes with your pencils and paints.  The other day I found this tucked in some of your drawings...

  I felt myself say "Thank you  Jesus," for the  heart of a child.  You are good at doing this. You are full of wonder and curiosity. Never lose that. Goodness, life has so much joy and beauty  to uncover. How do so many of us, as we grow up lose our way?  Truth be told my darling, it will get harder. You will see that the world can be a dark place and you will not escape sorrows and struggles;  none of us do.  When those days come and the world feels harsh and lonely, know this; you were made for another.  Always, always, look and seek for God and His glory and you will find it. That is my prayer for you. Learn to love His Word and know that you are His daughter, adopted, forgiven and more loved than you can imagine.  His ways bring a deeper fulfillment and joy than all the lies that want to sell you false happiness. Never ever let people's opinions, or what you see in the mirror or your accomplishments define you. You were known to God before you were ever born and He holds you always. Let him shape your heart to echo His. The most beautiful you will ever be is when you are serving and loving others. Try to truly see people. Every person is a masterpiece of God's design; be compassionate always. Read books, and create and dance and build and laugh until it hurts. Love deeply without reserve. Find the things that make you feel the most alive and do them for God's glory. Listen for his voice in life.
Ella, your name means light and you are certainly that. Your presence brings light to our hearts. Don't be afraid to give your light to others.  I am so proud of the things I see God growing in your tender spirit already.  Some things I love about you: how you are always singing, beat-boxing, dancing, how you can't get enough of bunnies, your stories and art, your dimple, your clear green-blue eyes, the freckle on the end of your nose, your kindness, how no one cries alone if you are with them, your silliness, your ability to notice everything around you. Such a gift you are to me precious one.
Love,
mama

August

We are checking things off of our list as summer pushes on.  Trying to squeeze every last drop of these long days before the school year begins. A few days ago we took our annual trip to Lake Winnie. It was a pretty perfect day of watching my loves laugh and have fun, more big kid rides, the smell of chlorine, water slides that made me feel twelve again, riding the ferris wheel with Juden, a traumatic log flume ride for Ella, funnel cake, crazy mirrors, and swings. 

 

 

" I listened, motionless and still;

 And, as I mounted up the hill, 

The music in my heart I bore, 

       Long after it was heard no more."

 ~William Wordsworth

This is where I spent some of last Sunday.  It's a beautiful old historic house that looks more like it should be found on an English countryside than tucked away five minutes from where we live, awaiting demolition. I loved wandering around wondering who had lived here and what stories it held. It was overgrown and gorgeous with a fragrant blanket of lily of the valley, my mom's favorite, covering one side. Naya made sure to gather a bouquet. The boys climbed rocks and explored little caves but the girls were content to walk with me and oblige my desire to try and capture some of the grace of this structure while it is still there. It felt good to be outside with my loves, to lay aside my agenda, my stresses, and distractions and take a moment to really see them. To quiet thoughts of chores undone and arguments and demands and to watch the way the sun fell on their faces, Harper's wild afro, the way she knelt to find wildflowers. 

"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles."

                                                                                                 ~Ann Frank (The Diary of a Young Girl)

The other day I read these lines and it reminded me again of why I love written words. There is something wonderful about feeling a connection that spans history and distance. I can't say I agree with everything she says here but I get what her heart felt.

For as long as I can remember when my soul was disquieted or sad, I would seek out some haven field or mountainside, some stretch of sky I could throw my arms around, somewhere to talk to Jesus, somewhere to sense  my own insignificance. Somewhere to feel small. I always found comfort being reminded of the vast incomprehensible nature of God, and my smallness in the shadow of His wings.

 This is the house. I wouldn't mind living here. A lovely place to spend mother's day with all my loves. They know me well. Hand-made cards and gathered flowers, picture taking, lunch outside, made my heart happy.

two

 

Our Harper bear turned two at the end of April. Many things don't get photographed and written about lately and that  is okay. Life is full of good things. Since I have always just used this space as a place to collect thanks, and praise, a place to remember things; I will continue as I am able, even if it is just a few images and words scattered haphazardly here and there.  

I can't believe we have had our baby for two whole years. I can't really put into words the joy he has brought to our home. He gives the best koala bear hugs and he makes us laugh all the time. His favorite thing is being outside and his animals and trucks. He seems to learn new words everyday and the kids love trying to expand his vocabulary. Most recently adorable is how he says, "pitty flowee," when he sees flowers.  He really likes praying with the family and won't quiet down until everyone is holding hands. He loves Juden. I can't really describe how that brother bond undoes me. Seeing the relationship between older children and a baby has been an incredible blessing. He is a force to be reckoned with and my, it's a wild age. We may have caused a few public ruckuses here and there.  Happy birthday little man. What a gift you are to us.