thankful

Since when did time go into warp-speed directly following Thanksgiving? I'm still trying to catch up to the fact that we are in mid-December. Time to catch up a bit. Suffice it to say, I've been pretty busy lately, busier than I'd like to be. I am realizing that while I love all of the things I'm committed to, I have a tendency to over-commit. I think I was so sick in my first trimester I was trying to make up for lost time. As a home-schooling pregnant mom of three, sometimes it doesn't work. Then I stop and breath and try to figure what are the things God wants me to do?
Fall has long since breathed her last and slipped into a freezing December. We had a wonderful full month.







For several years now I have spent the anniversary of my dad's death with my family on a mountain trail called Rock Town. This year marked six years since I've seen him and there's something about being surrounded by God's face in nature that brings peace to that place of sorrow. All of our paces seem to slow as we take in the fading colors of the season and the musty smell of the earth and decaying leaves. I watch my kids climb and explore and play and I remember him... who used to watch me just like I'm now watching them. And the missing is as fresh as the last time I held his hand.

Below is every single one of his grandchildren.We got to spend Thanksgiving week with my sister and family from NJ. With my mom and siblings and a few friends we've adopted into our family we had 28 total for dinner, and so very much to be thankful for.




A few other changes; my boy is almost halfway through his first year of school and he is sprouting faster than I can believe. Here's a shot of his sleepy self about to go to school in the dark cold morning. I can't lie I miss him tons every day but he is doing wonderful.
And lastly, the belly is growing and the little one swimming and nudging my insides is indeed a boy! I had sensed this all along, always saying "he" when I prayed for him and referred to him. I didn't really have a preference although Juden did pray for a brother every night. We are so excited to see who this little guy will be.

Okay, now that I have caught up a little hopefully I can find the time to write about how we are enjoying this precious season of Advent.

tomorrow

I'm a bit behind on blogging but I just wanted to check in to say that tomorrow I get to see my little one swimming around on the monitor and find out if it's a he or a she! I'm a little ecstatic. What an amazing gift each of my children are.

On another note I thought I'd share a song Josh and I wrote a few months ago. It's about when I first had Juden. That time was something like magical. After losing our first child in the previous year and wondering if my body would be able to sustain life, having a wriggling beautiful boy was beyond amazing. A little healer he was, given by the real Healer.

As a mom sometimes staying in touch with my creative self is a struggle. But it is still there waiting for those quiet moments to emerge. It comes in spurts. And I suppose it doesn't hurt to have a super creative husband who tells me I can't go to bed until the song is finished :) That is what happened the night we wrote this.
Little Empire by joshua.c.green

weekend loves

some things I loved about the weekend...
perfect Fall weather, breakfast feasts with family and friends and pumpkins, watching the men get competitive with the pumpkin carving and breaking out the power tools, seeing the fruit of all these amazing women artists at Clothesline,Juden doing a little harmonica solo for the offertory at church (oh, how it made my heart swell), picnics and sunsets, chocolate chip cookies and library books,


little girls,

and precious babies everywhere


and being with my husband who makes every single thing in my life a million times better.

apple picking

We spent the day at Mercier's orchard last Saturday. I grew up apple picking every Fall. It was a nice way to welcome Fall, with my dad lifting us high into trees and filling his pockets, bags full of the best apples, and making pies. I think sometimes I try to recreate for my kids some of the precious things I loved about my own childhood. It is always nice when they love it just as much.





We rode up through the beautiful 200 acre orchard and filled our bags and finished off with the best apple cider and apple cider doughnuts. They definitely approved. Now for some pie baking.

This time last year

After one of the hottest Septembers on record, I'll admit I was pining away for Autumn. The summer was dragging on with temperatures in the mid-nineties every day until October arrived, finally bringing our first cool breezes and chilly mornings. I love the rhythm of the seasons with those first cool mornings, pulling out sweaters and warming up with hot PG Tips. You have to drink in the cold air while you can around here since by the afternoon we're back up to the high 80's and the kids are running around outside with no shirts and pink cheeks. This first hint of Autumn has been intoxicating though. Scrolling through pictures of Fall last year made me excited to enjoy this season with my family. A few days a go we went to one of our favorite spots to hike, Cloudland Canyon, where the views are amazing and the destination is waterfalls. Last year we did the hike with Naya on Josh's back. This year they all hiked the whole thing all by themselves like little champions. I couldn't help but think about how much they change from year to year. I dreamed of the little one that will be snuggled in the wrap next year when we hike it. Hope you're enjoying your first days of Fall wherever you are.



Oh, and here's a lovely song for you.

dandelion root

I must share this just in case you ever have the misfortune of experiencing puppps or if you know someone who has. At about nine weeks of pregnancy I noticed a rash that looked kind of like hives and almost like something was biting me. I will spare you the pictures but let me just say Google image is pretty accurate. It spread each day and was unbearably itchy. It was interrupting everything and making sleep very difficult. After about a week it was everywhere on my body except my neck and face. After endless research and ruling things out I am pretty convinced it was an early case of puppps, a somewhat rare and horribly itchy pregnancy related rash. I obviously didn't want to take medication if I didn't have to while pregnant, and it seemed like medicine might help with symptoms but not really get rid of it. I finally found some homeopathic remedies and I had nothing to lose. I talked to a local midwife who is very knowledgeable in the field and she verified the amounts I should take. She seemed quite confident that strongly infused dandelion tea would help with my rash. So each night I would brew a quart each of dandelion and nettle tea which is also supposed to be wonderful for pregnancy. Four bags of tea to a quart and it needs to steep at least four hours. Dandelion tea is extremely bitter. I could only drink it cold with the juice of about half a lemon and a touch of sweetener. I drank a quart of these teas a day, took one dandelion capsule, and flax seed and fish oil and within a week the itching stopped and it is totally clearing up. In the mean time I rubbed a generic zinc based diaper ointment on the worst patches which seemed to sooth it and help with itching. It is amazing to me how little health care professionals seemed to know about this condition. Once I had it, I heard of more and more people that had suffered with it. My sister had it terribly several years ago and was sent from one doctor and dermatologist to the next, never getting any relief until a few weeks after the baby was born. So spread the word that God gave us medicinal herbs for a reason and their benefits are endless! Anyway I would be lying if I said it was not a little discouraging to be tired, nauseous and also covered in a horrendous looking rash. I am just not one of those women who feels and looks amazing straight through the whole nine months. But I will say this, every single day I thank God for this new life and the gift that it is to me. No amount of temporary uncomfortableness will change that. In my weakness and lack of control I cling to God who is an ever present help in time of trouble. I have also been reading The Natural Pregnancy which is a wonderful source of information and positive language regarding all the things you face in pregnancy.
Even with certain hard things about pregnancy, each day I marvel that God is knitting someone inside me... a whole person with veins and bones, a beating heart, an entire story , a hope and a future, already so very loved.
A few weeks ago, I got a little peek of the baby, and it is indescribable seeing this little wriggling thing.
I walked out with this sweet picture and a huge smile on my itching blotchy self.

these boots

Sisters, mama's boots, a mirror and some music equals very good times.

So I've been a tad elusive in the blog world as of late but I do have a perfectly good reason.
It went like this: The kids were in bed, a record was spinning, candles and a living room dance and this little picture tucked in my waist... his surprise, a hug and tears.

I had been keeping a wonderful secret. We have a new little one in the making and we are absolutely thrilled and so very thankful for this new life inside me. Having my other three kids in three years was wonderful but a bit of a baby making whirlwind. I have had enough of a break that I am excited to drink in every minute of this crazy, miraculous process, even if the last several weeks have been spent in a fog of exhaustion and nausea. The kids are ecstatic about it and Juden immediately said it was just what he was praying for and he had been. He's hoping for a brother. We've seen the ultrasound and heard the heartbeat and can't wait to meet this one who is due in April right in time for Spring and at the same time our very first was due. Amazing.